So I’m almost down to my last £10 but not too worried as my income should be in on the 27th – but it wasn’t. I go online to see what’s going on and see no sign of the money and it’s now two days late. Of course the 27th was on Saturday and we all know that the banks don’t do business at the weekend. But. The money is paid into my account electronically, from one account to another. There are no cheques to clear, it is a matter of a computer moving funds automatically.
I ring up the source of the money and am told that it ‘left the account on the 27th’. Um. So where is it then? I mean did it pack up it’s bags and decide to go off on a little trip somewhere? Did it run into a storm on the way to it’s destination or did it get lost on the electronic superhighway, in a fuzz of static? Did it pop into someone else’s account for a short stop over? The answer of course is that it did none of these things, except perhaps the last. It must have stopped over into the banks own account, along with all the millions of other transfers of money and where the bank can make use of it while it is missing in space. Banks must make zillions on this time lapse, if you think how many transfers are done all over the world.
Banks have all sorts of ways of justifying this money making process. We all know that no actual money, no pound notes actually move between banks and it is only a question of altering the figues between accounts. Where cheques are concerned, there is some justification in a small delay in the process as the cheque, once presented, has to be returned to the issueing bank, though I think it’s sent in some sort of banking ‘post’ as opposed the the Royal Mail. But even with a cheque, the receiving bank can see whether the funds are available and that the cheque is likely to be honoured long before the money is credited. They also take the funds out of the issuing account the minute the cheque is presented at the payee’s bank but the issuer has no such grace period that the banks insist on with the payee. So even then, for five working days, the money has left one account but has not been credited to the next. Where is it?
There’s been lots of criticism over the charges banks levy it’s customers when they go overdrawn and we know that it is now possible to ask for all charges over a period of time, be paid back but at the risk of ruining the relationship or having to move to a new bank. People get angry that the charges in no way reflect any actual cost to the bank and rightly so. My own bank have come up with a different way of getting charges but offer something in return. I can exceed my overdraft by £150 for one week at a cost of £22, whereas before, I would have been charged approximately £35 and additional costs if the bank then refuse to pay someone (bounce a cheque/direct debit, for example), which all adds up to such a lot of money comparable to the amount you may be overdrawn. This new system is marginally better but only if you actually need to use the extra £150 or any part of it. So if you go overdrawn by £5 it will cost you a staggering £22. Clearly, one needs to keep one’s account in order.
My money finally arrived this morning, but who knows where it’s been. No doubt it’s made the bank some money during it’s journey from one account to the next and in addition to the charges levied on my account, my meagre bit of money has probably earned the bank quite a few bob . Umm.
Occasional Scribbles 
Grrrrr… don’t get me started on the banks! The banks themselves are almost single-handedly to blame for the current “economic crisis”. Each bank sits on their pile of cash tight and won’t lend it to other financial institutions whose cash flows are a bit short (because they have “bad debt” which they could not shove down ill-advised consumers’ throats quick enough up until a few months ago).
Ok, having let out that bit of steam, I’m going to offer my two pence about the return from NZ thingy. You probably know yourself what is best for your Teen, but here’s what one outsider thinks looking in:
Welcome the Teen with open arms, organise something (if you can) which you know he’ll enjoy (erm… favourite food, a film, something low key anyway…) and make him feel like you’re genuinely happy to have him back. No mention of “failure” and just leave the “discipline” stuff that the NZ guardians suggested for another time. It’s a bit like reverse psychology, even though I’m not a big fan of the term, it’s over-used and cliche.
I always find that when people expect to be told off or confronted with some sort of negativity (and the Teen does, surely he is gutted about the way things ended up) and when the other person rises to the challenge and gives them that well anticipated lecture, a full-blown lose-lose conflict is ready to be served. The person on the defensive is backed into a corner (they know they’ve blown it, but they’re not going to admit that) so very unpleasant and most of all pointless stuff will follow.
I think pleasant behaviour generates a good response. So if you manage to control your disappointment and treat the Teen with unexpected dignity instead, he might respond well and that just might bring out the best in him?
I do see how I should practise as I preach with the Designer, but my excuse is that it is slightly different between partners (hmmm…) ok, *especially* if you’re not too sure you want to live with them happily ever after.
As ever,
aa
By: Anonymous Academic on 30/09/2008
at 6:27 pm
Hi AA,
Thanks for the ideas. I think it’s a good idea and agree that The Teen knows he’s blown it even if he says it wasn’t all his fault. I think it’s been a bit of both. I don’t think the guardians were nearly helpful enough and I think they were far too critical of him and didn’t make enough allowance for his age. I think they could have found a way to motivate him and keep him on side, so to speak, though he was a bit of a handful!
The real difficulty is going to be asserting my authority, since he’s lived independently for 8 months. I need to find something he is going to be happy to do. Tricky really!!
By: scribbles08 on 30/09/2008
at 7:09 pm
Well, how about (somehow) trying to help him to find something he is happy to do, I know it aims at the same thing (Teen with some meaningful content in his everyday existence) but there is a glint of hope that finding it for himself might make the Teen feel more ownership of the particular decision, and maybe stick with it.
Now, if you master that one, together with asserting authority yet being supportive, you can start up an Institute of Perfection in Parenting and charge people impressive sums of money for taking part.
Joking aside, good luck with the rehabilitiation of the Teen into family/home life.
By: Anonymous Academic on 30/09/2008
at 10:19 pm
Yes I think he must have plenty of imput. I’ve thought of suggesting he go into the army for basic training. (I hear you thinking, no way!!) and that the Teen won’t like that idea. But, he does need some dicipline and whilst there, the army could find something he is good at. He’s quite clever and was going into engineering prior to quitting his A’levels. But we have to see what state his shoulder is in. There was talk having surgery on it, so we need to see how fit he is first.
I think he expects to come back and get some sort of job in the hope of affording a small flat share with his remaining friend who didn’t go to uni. Obviously that’s not ideal from my point of view as I think he will get back into old bad habbits of drinking too much and lazyness. The two of them together are not very good for each other.
He’s still keen on the whole wine business and there is a vineyard near here, so that’s a possibility. He needs a year or two to mature a bit and then he could abroad again if he can prove that he can manage his life better.
Saturday is drawing closer and closer arrrgh!!
By: scribbles08 on 01/10/2008
at 10:54 am