It is sometimes said, that we English don’t learn other languages, arrogantly assuming (rightly) that any country worth it’s salt will speak our language so we needn’t bother. I have another theory.
The Younger Teen, poor lad, has a dragon of a French teacher. She is really quite vile, ticking him off in the very first lesson of the term and continuing to do so in each subsequent one thereafter. But that really is neither here nor there to the point in question. The point is, my Teens have been learning French since they were dot; a dot of about three actually and I remember back then, them learning such things as counting, un, deux, trois and so on and various vocabulary, le Chat, le chien, la table. Fairly basic stuff of course. And the problem is, the French really hasn’t progressed a lot since then.
Ten years later and I am doing helping The Teen with his prep, the dragon is on the war path and threatening to put him in detention again, if his work is not handed in at the crack of dawn. I remind the Teen about the prep throughout the evening as I see no sign of him getting on with it. Finally, at ten o’clock he comes down in his p-jymmies waving a piece of paper at me. I sigh. It’s a bit late to ask me to help. Of course he has no intention of asking for help; he just wants me to do it for him.
I look at what he has to do. I look again. Can this really be GCSE French? There are three parts to the prep. The first are half a dozen jumbled up words with pictures next to each. Mjbano, putloet, gerfmoa. (It looks more compicated here than it does on the sheet with the pictures)! So that bit is easy. Next there is a short piece with gaps to fill in with the appropriate words which are along the top to choose from. All of this is in the present tense. Je prends–(petit dejeuner)——— dans la cuisine. Au college, je prends-(picnic)—-. Le soir, je mange avec ma famille.
The third part is to write what you eat and where in your own home.
I’m honestly taken aback at this. Only last week, The Teen had to write a small piece about himself and his family and where he lives etc, all of which he seems to have been doing since he was dot. Je m’appelle— J’habite a la campaigne avec mes parents et mon frere. J’ai un chat, et un chien. J’aime le sport. Je n’aime pas l’ecole!
I mean really, this is the stuff of fourth year. No wonder so few of us ever speak another language. You really can’t go around speaking in the present tense all the time having failed to learn any other and there’s only so much you can say about your cat and dog! Maybe I’m missing the point here. Maybe this is revision, but somehow I doubt it!
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