Occasional Scribbles

I am boiling over with fury today.  I ordered an indoor ariel for my son’s TV which was a birthday present that doesn’t work without an extra aerial which I didn’t realise at the time.  Three days ago, I found what I wanted at Maplin and placed my order via the internet.  Maplin’s recorded message says that orders received before 5pm will be sent out the same day.  It did not arrive.  Instead I received a note in the post, saying that the item was out of stock.  I called Maplin to ask why it was not in stock when it clearly was at the time of my order –  it said so, in fact there were several in stock.  The lady I speak to is as usual apolagetic and attempts to provide various reasons as to why the order is now not in stock when it clearly was when I ordered it and when they took my money.  She suggests that at the precise same milli-second that I placed my order, three other people must have ordered that particular item at EXACTLY the same time.  I suggest this is nonsense but if so, why did the computer not tell me that it was no longer available – we are in a sophisticated electronics age afterall.  Trying to keep a hold of my temper, I ask when it will be in stock and when it will be sent out to me.  “I’m afraid I can’t say Mrs ***, we have no way of knowing when it will be in.  You see when deliveries arrive they have to be scanned before putting them on the shelf.”  What?  What’s that information got to do with the question?  She thinks there may be a delivery to their warehouse on Friday but as she can’t say exactly when, she thinks, I may get it delivered on Monday, if it comes in time to be sent out again.  I tell her that it might be an idea not to place my particular aerial ‘on the shelf in the warehouse’ and instead get it into the delivery van in double quick time, since they have taken my money three days ago, promised to send it out the same day as I ordered it, well before 5pm.

There is also a question about the type of delivery.  When you place the order there is no information as to how it will be deliverd and by whom.  There is instead an ‘option’ to pay a minimum of £10 possibly £25 to have it delivered the ‘next day’, or, there is the option to pay £2.95 to have it sent by DHL ‘standard’ – whatever that means.  Since there is little the lady can do, she offers to arrange a ‘call back’ by a senior person as she has no authority to help in any way.

Today, the senior ‘manager’ calls back.  I re explain the entire woeful story.  She is nonplussed.  There is nothing she can do about it at all.  I will just have to wait for the delivery to their warehouse.  I query the murky description of their delivery options.  I ask who normally delivers items other than the exhorbitant ‘next day’ or £2.95 DHL ‘standard’.  She explains that usually orders are sent via Royal Mail but that some people don’t like the mail option and ‘prefer’ to have DHL deliver.  There is no information as to the cost of the Royal Mail which leaves one with only the other choices.  I ask her, if, since they have not kept to their advertised agreement whether she would be kind enough to send the order to me on the ‘next day’ option (at their expense of course) since I have now waited three days and am looking at waiting nearly a week to get this wretched thing that should have arrived the next day  “I’m sorry Mrs ***, the order will be sent out standard DHL, we will not be sending it ‘next day’ as you haven’t paid for that service” What does ‘standard’ used in this context mean then, I ask.  “You will receive the item in 1 – 3 working days.  For God’s sake!  I remind her that the whole point in my ordering from their website as opposed to going to the store was that it would be quicker since I live miles from town and have no plans to go there just for an aerial.  She remains firm.  I also remind her that it is they who are at fault here having taken my order under false pretences.  “I’m sorry Mrs ***, your order will be sent out standard DHL delivery, we will not be sending it ‘next day’ delivery”  she drones on in her flat northern voice.  She repeats herself ad nauseum and brimming with frustration, I’m afraid I sink to her level.  I suggest she sounds like a robot, that I have already heard her repeat herself a million times and perhaps she ought to record herself and play it back on a loop, so as to save her voice. 

So despite the fact that I have been deceived, either deliberately or by mistake, despite their promise that orders will sent the same day, despite the fact that Maplin have no idea when they will receive a delivery, let alone when I will, Maplin are not prepared to do the honourable thing and ensure that when the wretched thing finally arrives at their warehouse, they will do me the kindness of sending it out on a ‘next day’ option to make amends – they won’t.  In a final effort, I enquire about their customer service policy.  “If you wish to make a complaint, you have to write to customer services, Mrs ***.”  Why should I and how does this help with the matter at hand?  Who, I wonder works for these companies?  Are they some sort of robotic clones?  Are they trained specifically to be unhelpful and to put you off with insincere apologies and ‘I can’t do anything for you’s.’  By now I am tempted to break the phone.  As I decide to hang up, I hear her again, “You can cancel the order Mrs ***.”  Yes!  I think I bloody well will but that’s not all I feel like doing.  Afterall, have they offered to let me know when I can expect my delivery?  Will I have to sit indoors until the end of time, incase, by some sort of punishment, I happen to go out for two minutes and miss the delivery man?  Of course not.  I have no idea when it will turn up.  God give me patience!